Who is this douchebag anyway?

Enter Name
 

Wait! You cannot enter this freak’s name! The HONORARY PLACRONYM has already been etched with some absurd name a good nine years ago on his 13th birthday. So none of this trying to name him something silly like Suckface Mingebag or anything. And, yes, he thinks you’re a bit silly for even trying this on him as if he’s some HOMESTUCK character, even though this is clearly what he’s trying to imitate here.

 

> So, who is this douchebag anyway?
 

Your name is STEPH.

You are currently 22 years of age, or 10.15 Alternian Solar Sweeps if you were a goddamn troll; which you aren’t. Your birthday is APRIL 4TH, which makes you an ARIES. You live in a place you like to call the LAND OF FOG AND RAIN which happens to be located somewhere on the OREGON COAST. Surprises abound!

Half the time you have NO FUCKING CLUE what you’re even doing since you are prone to STARING OFF INTO SPACE and, well, forgetting what you were SUPPOSED TO BE DOING in the first place.

You spend your time on your CRAPTOP LAPTOP either writing your SHITTY NOVELLAS or talking to your insanely random, yet damn awesome FRIENDS. Sometimes you even dare to slide into the world of VARIOUS FREE MMORPGS, in which you are a LONE WOLF because you are so fucking SOCIALLY AWKWARD it should be illegal. But, a majority of the time you spend online is spent ROLEPLAYING, and you think that anyone wanting to roleplay with you should definitely SEND YOU A MESSAGE.

When you’re not crammed into a COMFORTABLE CORNER with your CRAPTOP LAPTOP, you could be doing a number of things!

BAKING is one thing you have a love for. You have mastered making a wide variety of DELICIOUS SWEETS AND PASTRIES.

Another thing you could do forever is STARING LIKE AN IDIOT into the SUN and sometimes the MOON, because shit man, SPACE WEATHER IS FUCKING AWESOME. You’ve read about many interesting things pertaining to space. Unfortunately you are a complete IGNORAMUS and, as mentioned earlier, CAN’T REMEMBER JACKSHIT.

COSPLAYING is something you do frequently and simply ADORE DOING. You have quite a few different outfits that you have either gotten from COMMISSIONING SOMEONE or actually MAKING IT YOURSELF. Whether it’s HAND MADE or simply pulled together from things you have CONVENIENTLY LAYING AROUND depends on the outfit.

You also have a wonderful OBSESSION with fantastic VIDEO GAMES. Especially ones like THE LEGEND OF ZELDA, ANIMAL CROSSING, and SECRET OF MANA. There are more but you are far too DISTRACTED, as usual, to even think to name anymore.

You don’t even have a PERSONAL chumhandle because you are really lame. But you do happen to constantly chat it up on a blue program called SKYPE, where you can be found on the user name seasons.wynter.snosaes and respond to a various number of names.

What will you do?

>Reblog the shit outta this place and occasionally make a boring text post.